Raising Little Arrows

Marriage

Let It Go

Hannah Imboden August 23, 2017

I have been putting off writing this post. My goal was to write about marriage every wednesday to keep up with the #wifewednesday fun of Instagram. But, that didn’t happen. There’s no particular reason it didn’t happen either. I don’t have an awful marriage that is hard to write about. (Been in one of those, done that). But, I assure you it is far from perfect. You see, being raw and real about motherhood is easy. It comes naturally. I find it much harder to be raw and organic about my marriage. It is private. Intimate. Challenging. Beautiful. Yet putting words on paper about it seems difficult. What bothers me even more is that I don’t know why. So, bear with me as I find my footing.

My husband and I met online. Christianmingle.com (gotta represent)! I had a checkered past and believe me, it wasn’t pretty at all. Teen pregnancy, terrible previous marriage and a ton of baggage. More baggage than Elle Woods from Legally Blonde unpacked when going to Harvard. The first few months of marriage were tough. I came in with boxing gloves ready to fight and stand up for myself like I had to in my previous marriage. Only this time, my husband wasn’t fighting me. I came into every disagreement, conflict or discussion like Ali in the boxing ring, ready to knock my opponent, my husband, flat on his back. Not a good way to start a marriage.

It took a lot, I mean A LOT of communicating, patience and more prayer than you can imagine to get me to see that we were on the same team, fighting together and not each other. That is the problem with baggage. Often times we don’t know when to let go, not even realizing we are sinking to the bottom as we cling to it for dear life, allowing it do drag us down.

I remember the moment it happened. My husband in tears (and this never happens), standing on one side of the kitchen and me on the other. Fighting about nothing. I was fighting just to fight. My white knuckles clenched onto my baggage, my past. Heavy. My palms blistered from dragging it around so long. I was tired. I couldn’t bear the load anymore. Realizing it was destroying my marriage. And for the first time in forever, I dropped my baggage and let go.

Baggage can get exhausting to carry around all the time. Especially in a marriage. I have to remind myself daily not to project onto him. To see him for who he is and not for who I expect him to be. And I pray, a lot, and God hasn’t let me down yet. A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other. And I am so glad my husband chose to not give up on me. Two years later, he is still the love of my life.

Are you carrying around unneeded baggage? If you are don’t. I know it isn’t easy, but know you’re not alone. Just remember “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance” 1 Corinthians 13:7.

Be more like Elsa and LET IT GO.

Motherhood

Being a Boy mom

Hannah Imboden August 21, 2017

According to my friends who have sons, I have officially been initiated into the #boymom club. Yep, it finally happened. A trip to the E.R. Not the way I expected to spend my Saturday. But, boys will be boys I suppose.

Now, I know accidents will happen, but my son dances with danger, putting me on the brink of insanity. His fiery spirit torments me with a lack of fear as he climbs to the top of the slide, stands up straight and yells “Ta-Da”, as it wobbles, leaving him to catch his balance at the very last second. Can you say heart attack? He is in constant motion. I mean, he never stops moving, whipping around each corner at a full sprint, unaware of the table edge that hasn’t moved since we moved in. His sense of rebellion as he refuses to climb down the stairs like a baby on his tummy, insists on being like his sister standing upright and refusing to hold my hand, is relentless. His mischievous way, he grabs onto the stair rail and hangs from it, taking pleasure in the panic set upon my face. Yes, he thinks it is funny. This is what it means to be a boy mom. Always on my toes, ready to catch, ready to save from danger, ready to kiss the boo boos.

Becoming a boy mom has changed me to my core. It has re calibrated my heart, encouraging me to let him explore his world and in all essence, be a boy.

I love my daughter and being a mom to a little girl, you already know how precious she is to me, but having a son is different. Being a mom to a boy is amazing! Here are a few things I’ve learned so far about being a boy mom.

1. Don’t expect them to sit still, like ever.

2. Embrace the love of dirt. It will be all over your floors, all the time.

3. Encourage their exploring, even if it means picking up a gross worm. Act excited about that dang worm!

4. Always point the penis down, unless you want pee soaked clothes. I learned this the hard way.

5. Soak in those moments of tenderness. Those rare moments when they stop exploring long enough to cuddle, even if only for a brief second.

6. Enjoy their loud voices! One day, your house will be quiet.

7. Accept the fact they like to be rough and tough. In fact, join in on the rough housing. They will love it.

8. Buy a lot of food. I mean a lot. Because when they eat…they really eat.

9. Nurture his relationship with you as his mother. He loves Dad too, but the bond between mother and son is unbreakable. So, take care of it.

10. Find joy in raising a little boy. Foster that tenderness, kind heart, and unrelenting love. He is our future and we need more good men.

“Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭22:6‬ ‭

Home DIY

The Playroom

Hannah Imboden August 18, 2017

When we finally got our own house and I finally got to go interior design crazy, I knew I wanted to create a space for my kids. I wanted them to have their own area where they were free to create, destroy and run wild, without wreaking havoc on the rest of my house. I knew I wanted a space that could grow with them from toddlerhood into childhood. A place they could take ownership of and not just during clean up. I guess you could say that it was the inner teacher in me that was channeled when designing this space. Because lets be honest, it has total classroom vibes. And in the future, if I do decide to homeschool, this space will be perfect.

The chalkboard, tassels, and signs around the chalk board are from Hobby Lobby.

Ruler was made by my mother in law but similar ones can be found here.

The shelves, unicorn head (here) and lion head (here).

PLAY letters have been discontinued but similar ones can be found here and here.

The window bench and shelves were an IKEA hack. I took shelves similar to this and placed them on each side to frame the window. I then turned the other one on its side for the window seat. The boxes make clean up very convenient and easy for the kids since everything has a place and the cubbies are perfect for displaying their cute toys.

The magnet board is an oil drip pan from Walmart that I simply secured to the wall. My kids love this space and my son finds it fascinating that the letters stick to the board. He thinks it’s magic and I am going to let him think that for a while longer.

I had found these vintage alphabet cards at a garage sale and decided to frame them with the kids initials to make the space theirs. Below it I hang their artwork. We are constantly changing these pictures out. I love how excited they get when a new piece of their work goes up on display. They really love this space and I hope you did too!!

Home DIY

Where The Wild Thing Sleeps…

Hannah Imboden August 14, 2017

When I was pregnant with a boy, I felt lost when it came to decorating his nursery. I was beyond excited to make a place for his sweet little body to rest. Yet, when I stared at the blank canvas of his empty room, I felt lost. So, I took to Pinterest. Bad Idea. I went from no ideas to way too many. Adventure. Forest animals. Eric Carle. Cactus. Jungle. Trust me, I could go on and on. It was overwhelming. I knew I wanted a place for a baby without making it too baby-ish. I wanted that balance between innocence and sophisticated. Thats not asking too much right? It wasn’t until my sons nightly womb aerobics that I stumbled upon his nursery theme. My husband and I were laying in bed watching my belly distort into strange shapes and movements. The movie Alien comes to mind. Well, minus the alien ripping open her stomach at the end. (Because that would have been traumatizing.) My husband leaned over and put his hand on my stomach, in awe of his sons every move, and said “Woah, he’s a wild thing!” And then it hit me. I loved that book and it would make an awesome nursery theme. This time, Pinterest did not fall short.

I didn’t want to overdo the Wild Things theme though. I didn’t want a jungle painted on his wall because I get bored easily and I know after a few months I would paint over it. I wanted little touches of wild things, but not too much.

So, I bought frames and an extra book and used the pages from the book as the pictures. The frames were found at Target and Marshalls and they gave the perfect rustic vibe that fit in with his room so perfectly.

After his baby shower, I walked away with so many swaddles. A crazy amount! I didn’t know what to do with them all. So, I decided to put some on display. I bought this cute arrow here that felt wild and adventurous. I loved how the colors accented the frames and brought this space together.

Continuing with the Wild Things/adventure theme, I had to have a teepee. I thought it would make the perfect little reading corner. A place where he could go and imagine himself in worlds far far away as he got lost in a book. A place where his imagination could run wild and play could be endless. What child wouldn’t want a teepee to hide and play in.

The space was tricky at first. His room is not huge by any means and with a crib taking up most of the space, fitting a teepee in there was going to be a tough job. But, I was bound and determined to make it work. And I did. Go me! I found a fur rug to put inside, a tin bucket and filled it with stuffed animals. He needed friends to read and go on adventures with! I love this space and he does too. It’s his favorite spot to hang out in his room.

Here are the links:

Teepee (They do not have the chevron on, but a cute white and gold one) Rug

A mistake I made with my first child was not buying a rocking chair that was comfortable. I found an old rickety rocking glider at at garage sale and decided to make it work. Worst idea ever. I hated that chair.

Oh The Joys of Teething…

Hannah Imboden August 13, 2017

We are knee deep in teething right now. And as we wait for those four molars (yes, I said four) to pop through, we hunker down and pray God will be gracious as we try and survive the day. I swear, before you have kids, moms should have to go through combat training. We should be ready to clothe ourselves in riot gear, stand firm on the line, armed with the tools needed to take on a teething baby. As most parents who have been through the molars stage of teething know it can feel like you’re in the middle of a war zone.

Yesterday, he refused to eat. Everything that went into his mouth, got spit right out or tossed onto the floor. He. Would. Not. Eat. But, he was hungry so he cried for food, yet refused everything I tried to feed him. What’s a mom to do? I tried everything. Fruit, apple sauce, yogurt, cheese, turkey. Nothing worked until I became so beyond desperate and threw some

Chicken nuggets in the microwave. You know the over processed kind? The kind that you’re not even sure if real chicken is in it? Ya, that kind. I was desperate. And you know what? He ate it. Every last bite. Was I proud? No. But, my kid didn’t starve and I’m ok with that. Just don’t get used to it kid.

Sleeping on the other hand? That’s a whole other blog post in itself.

Motherhood is a juggling act. I wonder what challenges tomorrow will bring. Until then, I will try and get through the day as he refuses to sleep. This should be interesting.

Pray for me.

Motherhood

Take It Like A Mom..

Hannah Imboden August 13, 2017

The other day, I had just finished cleaning up after my tornado of a daughter, made a delicious one pot spaghetti dinner I had found on Pinterest, cleaned up the kitchen, and finally got to taste my pasta creation, twenty minutes after everyone had already started. As I sat down, for probably the first time all day, I let out a huge sigh. It was as if the relief my feet were getting somehow had escaped my soles and made its way up my body and out of my mouth. Yes, today we were eating in front of the television, which I was not happy about, but we had gotten home late from practice and my daughter politely asked to watch one of her favorite shows. You choose your battles.

So, there were were. I looked around at all of the empty plates and then down at my very full plate. I always seemed to be the last one to eat. As I picked up my fork and began to twirl my pasta, my daughter decided that sitting on her mom’s lap, while I held a very full plate of spaghetti, seemed like a good idea. As she crawled across my lap, taking the longest and most difficult route, her bony knees kneading my thighs, her elbow suddenly found its way deep between my rib cage and my gut. As I let out a huge “OW” and almost dropped that very full plate of spaghetti, my daughter turned and looked at me, finally comfortable, and said “Aww, take it like a mom!” As I stared at her, puzzled at how she even came up with this remark, I began to laugh.

Take it like a mom. She was right. As a mom, we take a lot of elbows to the gut. In fact, life can often feel like a constant elbow to the gut and we simply take it. Every minute of every day. Schedules, tantrums, diets, cleaning, budgeting, time itself. My little seven year old was on to something. She is far wiser than her years. So I started to think. How do you take it like a mom? I’ve heard the saying “Take it like a man”, but that seemed trivial. (No, I am not here to bash men or to say that what they do isn’t as important as the role of a mother. It is simply different.) I love my husband and know for a fact he takes a lot with his job. But as a mom, we take a lot from every angle. We take it like a mom by painting fingers and toes just to watch them pick them off ten minutes later. We take it like a mom by making dinner only to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich because the chicken has too much speckles (pepper). We take it like a mom by trying to squeeze out the logic, the to-do list, the stress, from our brains for just ten minutes so we can pretend to be jungle animals in the grass in the back yard. We take it like a mom all day long. We answer the same question 100 times, 100 different ways because explaining why the sky is blue the first 99 times didn’t work. We listen to Frozen’s “Let It Go” so many times we hear it playing even when the song isn’t on. We listen to the temper tantrum of our screaming children because they can’t have the toy they wanted because it is not in the budget this month and they don’t understand why you can’t just go to the magic machine that just gives you money. And then, on top of all of this, we have to be human beings. We have to shower, clean, do laundry, work, use the bathroom, love our husbands, and even be social. It’s a lot of work. I mean A LOT of work.

So, how do you take it like a mom? You laugh; don’t take life too seriously. Your kids won’t care why the sky is blue, or want to crawl around in the grass pretending to be a snake forever. So stop. Clean the house later. Make the grocery list later. Do the laundry later. Play and laugh…a lot. Breathe; when life feels like an elbow to the gut, just breathe. Regain composure. It will work itself out and if not, just know you have to tools to figure it out. You’re a mom for pete’s sake! You have changed a poopy diaper in the tiny compartment of an airplane, pushed through the pain of a tingly, dead arm, to feed a bottle to your baby while driving, and have managed to keep fifteen 3 year olds happy at your child’s third birthday while waiting for the jumper to arrive. Look around; stare at those beautiful faces of your babies you worked so hard to have. Stare at their cute smiles, their messy hair, their tiny freckles. And know that they are the reason you keep going. They are why you do this. Life sucks sometimes. It gets overwhelming and chaotic. But take a moment to remind yourself that you can do this. They are why you do this. Know you are amazing. It takes a special person to be a mom. I am amazed by all of you. So, keep doing what you’re doing. Keep loving your kids to the moon and back. You can never be reminded enough! And most importantly…Keep taking it like a mom!

Marriage

Learning His Love Language

Hannah Imboden August 12, 2017

My husband and I have only been married for two years, so I am no marriage expert. But, that doesn’t mean I don’t have some good advice!

In most of our marriage struggles, it because we have gotten lost in translation. Most of the time, we are loving each other fervently, yet, it goes unnoticed. Why? Well, because my husbands love language is different than mine. He is loving me passionately and with every ounce of his being, but he is loving me his way, and if I am not paying attention, I miss it. Here’s an example. When my husband comes home from work at 8 p.m. he puts the kids to bed. He asks me to, so don’t judge!! Since he gets so little time with them, he cherishes those moments. I usually clean up the house and then shower. But, on the rare occasion it has just been one of those days, I leave the dishes in the sink, get ready for bed and wait to fall into my husbands arms. Just needing that closeness. Now, did I tell him I needed him to come hold me as I try not to fall apart? No. Of course not. He is supposed to be able to read my mind right? Well, he didn’t. He finished up putting the kids to bed and went downstairs to get a drink of water, noticed the dishes in the sink and stopped and did the dishes. Thoughtful right.

{Now, here is where I am going to put myself out there and be vulnerable and make myself sound terrible, so be nice.}

When he comes up the stairs feeling like husband of the year, my attitude pops that bubble real quick. You see, my love language is physical touch and quality time (and gifts, I like those too). I just wanted to be hugged and loved (no, don’t get dirty with it). His love language is acts of service and words of affirmation (and physical touch, lets be honest, he is still a man). But, instead of me affirming him and seeing how he was loving me by doing the dishes, I was mad because he didn’t come and spend time with me.

We have to love their love language.

Often times we are being loved fiercely, but because it isn’t done in our love language, it often times goes unnoticed. So learn their language and have them learn yours. That way next time when he buys you flowers instead of vacuuming the stairs you still feel loved. Now, when he does the dishes, washes my car, does the laundry or even tells me I’m a good mom, I don’t miss it. I don’t take it as him “just doing chores”. But, I know its his way of loving me, lightening the load, and being my spiritual leader.

GO!! TAKE THE QUIZ PEOPLE!!!

5 Love Languages Quiz