Learning His Love Language

My husband and I have only been married for two years, so I am no marriage expert. But, that doesn’t mean I don’t have some good advice!
In most of our marriage struggles, it because we have gotten lost in translation. Most of the time, we are loving each other fervently, yet, it goes unnoticed. Why? Well, because my husbands love language is different than mine. He is loving me passionately and with every ounce of his being, but he is loving me his way, and if I am not paying attention, I miss it. Here’s an example. When my husband comes home from work at 8 p.m. he puts the kids to bed. He asks me to, so don’t judge!! Since he gets so little time with them, he cherishes those moments. I usually clean up the house and then shower. But, on the rare occasion it has just been one of those days, I leave the dishes in the sink, get ready for bed and wait to fall into my husbands arms. Just needing that closeness. Now, did I tell him I needed him to come hold me as I try not to fall apart? No. Of course not. He is supposed to be able to read my mind right? Well, he didn’t. He finished up putting the kids to bed and went downstairs to get a drink of water, noticed the dishes in the sink and stopped and did the dishes. Thoughtful right.
{Now, here is where I am going to put myself out there and be vulnerable and make myself sound terrible, so be nice.}
When he comes up the stairs feeling like husband of the year, my attitude pops that bubble real quick. You see, my love language is physical touch and quality time (and gifts, I like those too). I just wanted to be hugged and loved (no, don’t get dirty with it).  His love language is acts of service and words of affirmation (and physical touch, lets be honest, he is still a man). But, instead of me affirming him and seeing how he was loving me by doing the dishes, I was mad because he didn’t come and spend time with me.
We have to love their love language.
Often times we are being loved fiercely, but because it isn’t done in our love language, it often times goes unnoticed. So learn their language and have them learn yours. That way next time when he buys you flowers instead of vacuuming the stairs you still feel loved. Now, when he does the dishes, washes my car, does the laundry or even tells me I’m a good mom, I don’t miss it. I don’t take it as him “just doing chores”. But, I know its his way of loving me, lightening the load, and being my spiritual leader.

5 Love Languages Quiz